15 Lessons for Young Men: Judge by actions, not by words (Lesson 3)

A guy called a woman and asked her out. The guy was nervous, was scared; he was shy.

“So we’re set for tomorrow night?”

“Umm, yeah,” she replied.

Then, tomorrow night came. The guy agonized over the date the entire day. How should he act? What shall he wear? Did he have enough money? Would he be fun enough?”

But the poor guy realized he was wasting his time worrying for there was no date. He got stood up.

Obviously, there HAD to be a reason. Perhaps something awful happened. Perhaps her car didn’t start. Perhaps some incredible thing occurred in her life AT THAT TIME that kept apart the two star crossed lovers!

So he tried again. “Did we miscommunicate?”

“Oh, umm…Yeah.”

“You still want to go out?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s go out on this and this day. OK?”

“OK!”

That day comes. The guy gets stood up yet again.

But he rationalized it away. She did say she had things going on in her life. She did say that she wanted to go out with him. She did say that she wouldn’t mind spending time with him. Obviously, something had to have come up. After all, she SAID she wanted to go!

So the guy calls again and sets up another date. Likewise, he got stood up AGAIN.

“Argh!” he screams to himself. “It is my fault. For I should…

“Judge by actions, not by words.”

Pook then took the young man to a wall with a majestic painting on it. The painting showed a young man, much like the young man in person, standing before a feminine monster, a sphinx!

“What is that monster?” cried the young man.

“Why,” said the Pook, “it is All Women, Mother Nature herself! This nasty sphinx devours all hearts and lives of those who cannot answer her riddle. That man, in the picture, he figured out the riddle to Woman. Thus, he became known as Don Juan.”

“And the answer to the riddle?”

“Is that there is no riddle. Woman is a sphinx with no secret. It is only our minds that we assign her secrets, mysteries, pedestals, and goddess-like status.”

Pook noticed that the young man was confused so he elaborated. “Look at the above example! Look at how the lad got stood up over and over and, yet, over and over he rationalized the standing up! How often is it that a lad rationalizes ‘signals’ to his liking? How often is it that a lad offers gifts and treasures as sacrifices to her goddess-likeness for in his mind she is a goddess? How often is it that a lad’s overactive imagination converts her disrespect, her shallowness, her flaws, into love?”

“So we paint the image we want to see?”

“Exactly! Judge by her actions and not by her words. Judge by what she does than by what your mind wants to see. Our vanity will convert the image of every disinterested girl into secretly loving us (for women tell us what we want to hear). This is why we must judge by her actions and not by her words.”