15 Lessons for Young Men: Rejection is better than Regret (Lesson 1)

A young man sat and pondered the next phase of his life. “It is time,” he said, “for a girlfriend.” Yet, this new course in his life seemed both exciting and frightening. “But success will not come without much failure,” he realized. “If only there was a way to avoid the painful trials ahead.”

And then, like magic, appeared a Pook!

As like anyone shocked by the sudden appearance of a Pook, he was speechless. But this happened to be a talkative Pook who said, “I will guide you. The constant heartbreak, the loneliness, the feeling of having no control- these can be avoided. Follow me and I will show you many of the lessons that must be learned.”

“Oh Pook!” the young man cried out. “Would it not be better to throw myself into initial error? Is not error the best way to success?”

“No; your heart does not need to be shattered to realize its lessons. Do successful marriages come from a series of failed ones? Of course not. For…

“Foresight teaches gently; error teaches brutally”

With that, the young man asked, “And what is the first lesson?”

The Pook replied, “Follow and see.”

Thus, the young man followed Pook to a nearby college campus. Pook then said, “Behold, the first example.”

Lesson One

A young man, overflowing with desire, saw a woman he thought was extremely cute. She was simply walking around and was involved with her own things.

“I should speak to her,” he told himself. “I must meet her!”

But his body would not obey. He stood there, watching her in the corner of his eye, and felt as if he was burning. She eventually left and he cursed himself even more.

Then appeared another woman who was even cuter!

“I should say hi,” he told himself. Yet, he stood like a statue and his body felt as if he was burning.

“She is out of my league. She would never go for someone like me!”

He never approached and the woman left.

Yet, another woman appeared more beautiful than the first two!

Somehow, he got himself to approach. “Hi!” he sputtered nervously. She was pleasant. He eventually asked for the number to which she said no. Even though he failed, he felt much better that he tried.

“Alas,” he said now realizing the error of his ways.

“Rejection is better than Regret”

“Remember,” said Pook. “Change is gradual. Before, you saw no opportunities. Now, you see them all about you, yet you are too hesitant to take them. You’re slowly becoming more aware.”

“What are you saying?”

“When you find yourself hesitant, always yield to Action. If you see her, do not wait, gawk or wait for a ‘perfect moment’. Action, action, action!”

“Pook, I cannot. You see… I am insecure. I don’t have that confidence!”

“You are confusing CAUSE and EFFECT. The CAUSE of your hesitant nature is not because of your insecurity. You have not gotten what you’ve wanted, what you’ve desired. THAT is the cause of your hesitant nature.”

“What?”

“You are caught in the vicious cycle. You are hesitant because you are not used to things going your way. And things will never go your way because you remain hesitant. You see what you want, become hesitant, and the door of opportunity closes. It happens again. And again. And again. With each choice towards Inaction, you reject yourself a little bit more.”

Pook continued. “This is where that cycle of hesitation leads. In your world of Hesitation, you shred off more and more of your manliness until you turn into a full-fledged Nice Guy. Then you seek to remove hesitation by making the approach risk free. Then you start giving gifts, poetry, flowers, and declarations of love. You start to examine and re-examine non-existent signals until they read the way you want them to read. In the end, you place her on the pedestal and throw yourself to her worship.

“If there is a choice between less pain or the possibility of more pain, we default to the less pain. In adolescence, going for a girl and failing made you think everyone else would laugh at you. Whether or not it was true, you thought it was true. This was how you were kept within the cycle.”

“But Pook! How do I get out?”

“By realizing that the choice of Inaction is more painful than Action. Childhood is over. You are the MAN. You must approach. Always default to Action now. From those of us who wasted years in that hesitation mode know that Rejection is always better than Regret. Always.”