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OK. So you don’t have a girlfriend. You’re not getting any sex. On your current course, you’re about to become a Monk. You feel down and saddened.
“But Pook, I got no girl!” That is not the problem. The problem is that you place your happiness on a girl. You can’t be happy in a relationship unless you’re happy being single. Get away, endulge yourself in your hobbies and work. Whatever you do, do not sit there and regurgitate your emotions. Take Action.
But the more common is, “But Pook, I am doing my hobbies and work. I have a natural need for intimacy. I am tired of being single!”
And I am sure it is especially burning that you walk around and see these happy couples, hand in hand, with huge smiles on their faces, almost as if they are mocking you. But fear not! You are way ahead of the other males.
How do most guys act? Either they are Nice Guys or Jerks, very rarely are there true Good Guys.
Look at these guys in their relationships or in their marriages. You know who wears the pants in the relationship. These poor guys never understood the Game and are just relieved to have settled down. They are AFCs for life.
Most nice guys spend their 20’s in misery until women in their 30’s are ready to settle down. It is so sad to see these AFCs in such manner.
Some got a bit wise and looked at Dating Books. Unfortunately, most books make Nice Guys more feminine because they are written on what women SAY but not what they DO.
These poor chaps have no backbone! I watched my (then) roommate get a call from a girl saying that she was hungry and because she was studying, HE was to go to Subway to get her a sandwich! Alas, he did this. This patheticness is not the exception, it is the common.
See that cutie pie in those oh so tight pants? Most guys would chicken out in approaching her. In fact, many would go, “Run! Don’t let us know that we are looking at her!” Pathetic! Pathetic! Pathetic!
Or the guy who calls the girl of his affections night after night, hour after hour? Pathetic!
When I was young, I remember a guy driving ALL the way to my house (I live out in the boonies) to return to my sister a glove. She was pleasant but didn’t let him get in the front door. She said to me, “Whatever you do, do not act like that. Do not call a girl all the time. Do not act that way.”
Or a co-worker, completely infatuated, follows the girl around like a puppy. The proximity is obvious. When he wasn’t around, all the girls would get together and laugh and joke at him, all declaring how pathetic he was. Aren’t you glad you’re not that guy now?
When my sister and her boyfriend were going out, my sister was breaking up and getting back together with him again and again and again. He wised up and eventually thundered, “Listen woman! Either stay with me or go! Make up your damn mind.” She stayed with him and the two married. If he was a ‘nice guy’ and scared of confrontation, do you think she would have stayed with him? No.
What about the guys who just sit there and wait for girls to approach them? In their mind, they think, “Please ask me out!” Guys should never count on women to ask them out.
Or in the married life, nice guys who are afraid to lead because of their passitivity. They often marry the wrong woman because they are so tender to their own emotions and oblivious to reality. Indeed, there are shmiels who’s wifes cheat on them constantly… and they put up with it.
These and the Nice Guy are but one of the same, while a Nice Guy introverts himself, the Jerk extroverts himself. While the Nice Guy is constantly passive, the Jerk is constantly aggressive.
While the Nice Guy hides his sexuality and can’t get chicks to be attracted to him (but are good long term relationship material, as girls confirm by saying to Nice Guy, “You’re not the type of guy I’d date, you’re the type I’d marry“) the jerk erupts his sexuality everywhere, gets chicks attracted to him, but can never keep them.
The jerk has no confidence, which is why he is a jerk in the first place. True criticisms sting him and collapses his spirit.
Notice how the Jerk may get chicks long enough for sex, he fails completely in life. He ends up being a janitor or something similar. The girls he bedded with? All of them insecure little girls. It is pathetic and very very sad.
Some guys have gotten confident enough to take action, talk to girls, etc. But very few have true backbone. Even fewer then that have the Don Juan skills expressed in the articles and on this forum.
Most guys are pathetic. Most are chumps. Women simply get tired of looking and will ‘settle’ for who they are with. It is so sad.
But you, on the other hand, you are not a chump and are definitely not pathetic. You are a good catch. Fear not having no intimacy right now, for with your mindset and skills will ensure you luxurious intimacy for the course of your life.
Can the Passive (Nice) Guy speak of true passion within his relationship? Can the Jerk (Coward) speak of true success and true maturity within relationships? Of course not.
You are enlightened and know something 99% of the other guys do not: how to handle women. For if you don’t, women will handle you.
One out of four marriages is when the woman never loved the guy anyway but just ‘settled down’. Out of the ‘love’ marriages, most of the women fall out of love. More women then men commit adultery. 80% of relationships are broken up by women.
Why is this!? Mostly, because of patheticness. When you get down, think of all the guys that suffer from this. Then realize that you are truly free, for you possess the knowledge that makes you a Man.
There’s no shame in failure, only shame in not trying. Even when you don’t try, the fierce guilt that tears you up is a sign that you are changing for the better and killing that nice guy within you.