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An emailer (who definitely gets it) has this to say:
Nothing special, but it did make me laugh, simply because after agreeing with your post on ‘the burden of guilt,’ this guy seems like a real case study.
“A woman calling a man a bitch is a very different thing than a man calling a woman a bitch; the latter is part of a long history of misogyny; the former is a relatively recent phenomenon. We have to judge words by their power to hurt”.
“I can rail against the “unfairness” of judging me by the poor behavior of other men, but in this culture, that’s fruitless. As men, we do have to accept the fact that collectively, we have given good reason why it is that we ought not to be trusted — above all in the sexual realm. We can bemoan the injustice of paying for the sins of others, or we can shoulder the burden that our brothers have created for us (and that perhaps, in our own lives, we have helped to create). What that means practically is that I am committed to meeting suspicion with patience, openness, and accountability. I’m no longer hurt when folks don’t trust me just because I’m a man — I accept now that they have every reason not to.”
You can imagine the guy being trampled on by a feminist in big black high heels, and he’d just sit there going ‘aaaah, yes, I deserve it…I deserve it, but…no…not the eyes! Aaaah! I’d fight back, but it would just be adding further darkness to the cold night of misogyny that is Western history…oooh, my crotch! Aaah!’
Why are so many males filled with guilt? I think it all comes down to the first Pookish Commandment: Be who you are. These guilt filled wimps are focused on what other people think of them. If feminists and academics say he is guilty, then presto, he is guilty. His value measuring stick is only in how other people perceive him.
I wonder if that is the root of all feminine thought: caring only how others perceive you. I have never met a woman who didn’t care what others thought of her. Even the nastiest of feminists will point to fellow nasty feminists agreeing with her as if that is validity of her beliefs herself.
If a woman is bothering me, I have noticed if I say: “You should have heard what the other girls said about you!” BAM! She shuts up and demands to know what was said. As a man, I know I am perceived to be an ass to all women. But I know women care about what other women think and highly regard them so. Their female friends constantly backstab each other (or at least have the potential to). Female friendships are as thin as paper. So if I say, “Your friends said some of the nastiest stuff about you!” the woman will go bonkers. “Tell me!” she cries. “I must know what they said!” It is safe to say that every woman has told her friends secrets, even of the nastiest sort, so even if I know nothing her fears of her perceived faults emerge. I just don’t tell her and it drives her up a wall.
A real man doesn’t care what others think or care about him. John Wayne does not ask people what they think of him. He just is who he is. When a male starts caring what everyone thinks of him, almost certainly he begins to adopt strange feminine characteristics. He may start to gossip, begin to dress to how others will perceive him, and begin to talk in a way so he will be great in other people’s eyes, and so on.
Every person filled with guilt (and I’m not talking about real guilt like the religious sin type) is due to them caring about what other people think. One person said to me, “Pook, do not wear your cowboy hat on your trip for the Californians do not like Texans.” My response was, “**** the Californians! I shall lead an army of pick-up trucks and conquer their girly state! I am a Pook! I shall wear the biggest cowboy hat I can find!” The other states complain Texans have too much state pride. I just laugh at them. What else should I do? Should I grovel and feel guilty over nothing? As an American, I hear much anti-American nonsense especially that I ought to be ‘ashamed’ because there are non-Americans who don’t like my country. “They hate us, Pook.” So what!? When did nations begin conducting foreign and domestic policy based on being liked by other countries? There is nothing to feel guilty about with looking out for yourself…either in your nationality, in your relations with women, and so on. What is next? Am I to marry bitter washed out career women because…they will hate me if I do not? Please!
Let me get on my knees. “Please have mercy on me, oh most wonderful feminists. I was a silly Pook and thought I had to live life to my own soul rather than the authority of your shame.” Screw that! Give me my cowboy hat. I would rather die on feet than live on my knees.
Cast off that matriarch’s guilt and, suddenly, all their arrows of shame will bounce harmless off you. They cannot shame you or control you. The guiltless man has no place in their midst.