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The girls and everyone I know keep saying I’m a ‘mystery’. I don’t try to be. I don’t intend to be. I even try to explain myself to them. Yet, the mystery (to them) remains. So mystery must be more than what you reveal.
Apparently, people try to define everyone else they meet. We try to place people in nicely cut slots to mark where they go. Girls do this all the time. They want to figure you out to decide what role you will have in their fantasy, if you should be relationship material for them or their friends, and so on (i.e. LOVER, FRIEND, or LOSER). If you keep defying the ‘mold’ they have for you, you will be christened a mystery.
Most people are static. A year from now, they will probably look the same, act the same, and be the same. But if you are in a state of flux, easily done through a self-improvement (or self-discovery if you will), every slot they try to stick you in will fail.
People see Pook.
“Look! He is athletic. He enjoys talking about sports. Therefore, he is a jock.”
Pook then talks philosophy.
“Look at that! He must read books! Therefore, he is a nerd jock.”
Pook then listens to the women.
“Oh, he is so sweet! He is such a Nice Guy!”
Pook then cycles through the women.
“How is this!? Pook is a Nice Guy Player!”
Pook then pisses off a woman.
“What ho! Pook is jerk-like!”
Pook then makes a speech.
“Look at him go! Pook is an orator! He must get his own radio show.”
Pook then writes an essay for a paper.
“Wow! Pook must be a writer! Look at him go!”
And this goes on forever. In the end, they conclude Pook is a Nice Guy/ Player/ Jerk who’s writer/orator and a nerd/jock. No wonder they are confused.
The longer they know me, the more of a mystery I am to them (because they’ve seen more change). They can only love Pook, never define him.
Anti-Dump advised shy guys to use their quietness as an advantage to not give themselves away. Terminator911 used the phrase, “The less she knows, the more she wants to know”. These two were responding to how many guys turn their dates into Oprah and tell their pathetic life stories.
Women like men who are like mountains, solid with many layers because all women are gold-hunters, either for the gold of your potential or the gold you actually have. They like to dig through these layers. They get information but they know that there is more there. It frustrates her that she can’t define you. She loves you because of this.
You don’t withhold information, you make her work to get it out (you are not to dictate your autobiography to her). But you’re constantly changing. So once she has dug up a layer, the mountain has pushed up three layers higher. She (and you) are never bored and both of you are closer to the stars.
Compare THIS with the guy who is in stasis mode. She will go through his layers and his mountain just sits there. Soon, she thinks that the other mountains are taller, larger, more interesting to climb. She will say, “I am bored,” dump you, and go for the next mountain because it’s there.
People do not see mysteries in people they have not talked to/met. Why? Because there are lots of people they have not talked to. There is nothing mysterious in that. No, those people are delegated in her mind as part of the ‘environment’ or ‘scenario’ she is in. You only become real once you start interacting with her in some real way. The more values and time she gets from you, the more she will try to put you in a slot. If you are upwardly changing, she will be curious. “He is such a mystery!”
You want to be a mystery in this way rather than hiding your life (but no turning the girl into Oprah. That’s just gross.) In this way, the more a person knows you, the more the person will see you as a mystery. This means your girl won’t get bored. Her interest level will remain high.
And it will be through her doing! The word ‘mystery’ won’t even go through your mind. She will think and ponder and create drama out of nothing (as women are quite good at doing). And the more she thinks about you, the more she will like you.
See? Don’t try to force her mind into liking you. She wants to like you. By her finding reasons to like you as she tries to figure you out, she has convinced herself that you are worthy.