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The gratitude of the ladies has crowned me with the label Don Juan.
I should have definitely declined the title if I saw it as most do! When a gentleman logs onto the website, he thinks, “I will absorb everything that is Don Juan…
Don Juan! What is he? What ought he to do? All we know is the word catches all our imaginations, all our dreams, as we envision him, clad in black, macking the girls from all points in sight. Oh, that Don Juan! He does everything perfect! with the ladies! If only we could absorb all techniques, all fashions, all behaviors, and engage with no fear, all the ladies will be ours!”
This viewpoint is so prevalent and dominant, I now understand why some people are GLUED to this forum! Perhaps there is a way to scrape us off our ‘reading materials’ once and for all.
The Perfect Player…
My roommate and I were watching one of those dating shows (I forget which). Two guys were competing for the ladies. One was a super player who was saying all the right things and getting physical with them. The other guy was a super horny dude that was loud, making crude comments, and literally humping the chicks.
My roommate was in awe of the player. “That guy rules! He is playing both of them. He is kissing both of them!” The other guy, in the pool, was humping the water jets and jumping around. The ladies said about him, “It is like a date with a 2 year old!” The player dude was feeling quite secure when the ladies would say, “Thank goodness I am with you. That guy is complete nuts!”
When it came time for the choosing, however, my roommate and I differed on whom the chicks would choose. “The player dude, obviously. He was PERFECT.” But I knew better. “What! No, no, the girls are going to go for the super horny guy.” My roommate thought I was nuts.
When the girls chose though, the player dude, Mr. Alpha Male, ended up all alone while the girls chose the horny dude. “I DON’T BELIEVE IT!” my roommate cracked.
Perfect is boring but to be Human is Beautiful.
The Player LOST to the horny dude because even though the Player Dude did THE RIGHT THINGS to the ladies, he was still boring. The horny dude had more personality than the Player in every encounter.
“But Pook! I do not get it!”
A creative director from Hollywood told me this,
“Look at the REAL stars that EVERYONE LOVES. Are these people the perfect model types that grace magazine covers? NO. They all have huge eccentrices of their own.” In other words, Schwarzenegger is no Shakespearean Actor. I think the only other character that hasn’t talked as much in movies would be Lassie.
Take the successful lawyer who goes to the gym all the time. BORING. What is Human about him? One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, chicks are going to expect you to be ‘perfect’.
We must fall in order to rise. The little goodie who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.
Perfection is boring. To be Human is Beautiful.
Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? “Yes, Pook. I believe it is.” Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout.
Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. When you play in a symphony or band, you obviously let the director place you in your role. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard. Compare that guy to the ‘perfect player’ and the player with thrill will always, always win. (To you guys still scared about dating and all, consider this: put fun into the woman and fun comes out. Put happiness into the woman and happiness comes out. What do you try to do instead? Do you try to be so ‘perfect’ that she will go crazy over you? Where a Nice Guy uses flowers, you use flowery acts. Unfortunately, you’ll find that vaginas are not laced with gold.)
Writing! Look at the finest writers in history. Shakespeare is bawdy. Milton goes into full egotistical mode. Even some of ****ens’s works seem incomprehensible. If you consider the so called ‘perfect’ works to those, they don’t compare. Take your professors who write these so called ‘brilliant’ academic books that no one reads. People do not admire brilliance; they do not admire technical perfection. People admire the Humanity, the personality, found in works. People do not admire Napoleon for his military and artillery genius. They admire him because he had the audacity to say on a corpse filled battleground, “All these men will be replaced by a single night in Paris.”
Popularity! Take any politician. What do they try to do? Why, they try to be PERFECT in your eyes. They speak to you as if you are a four year old, using focus grouped sayings and canned generalizations. The result is that every politician gets viewed as the same, are all boring. Which politicians are remembered? It is the one not with ‘failings’ but with a humanity of their own. Now look from women’s eyes. All these men try to be ‘perfect’ to the ladies so they all come off as BORING. A ‘humanized’ guy, no matter what his failing, is always more desirable than a PERFECT Nice Guy, super intellectual, or dried up player.
Why does ‘perfection’ fail with the ladies? Because when you strive to be ‘perfect’, you enter an Anti-Life mode. You end up not really living but fulfilling some imaginary barometer of virtue, of thought, or other Human measuring stick.
He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.
Now why do we strive towards ‘perfection’? To get the PERFECT women? There are obviously no perfect women. Even a Playboy centerfold can turn into a FAT EVIL HAG. (*cough* Anna Nicole Smith *cough*)
I’d imagine the ‘perfection’ comes from the thought that the WOMAN obtained will be like heavenly rain in a parched desert. All the things you’re looking for in life… joy, sociality, and even sexuality must come from YOU. And you know what? Examine the ladies you ARE attracted too. They already have the joy, socialibility, and sexuality. When they look at you, you may think you are ‘perfect’ but they see a joyless frustrated creature.
There was this guy who went to the gym almost all the time. His diet was PERFECT. His workout routines were PERFECT. His clothing was PERFECT. His six pack… no, EIGHT pack was PERFECT. He MODELED. He got involved in ACTING. He looked like a GREEK GOD. When he walked about, all the ladies noticed him. He used his flesh like a masculine dress. Aside from those that used and discarded him as a boy toy, the ladies always broke up with him. How could they break up with this ADONIS? “He is so BORING” they all said in chorus. After all, he spent most of his time in the gym or being consistent with his perfect diet. If this guy spent less time being perfect and more time being human, he would be much more successful with the ladies and much happier.
There was this other guy that became a super successful lawyer. He bought the token status car and made a mini-mansion. He went to the gym every other night. He had money, had status, and looked great. He thought the ladies would find him PERFECT. Well, they did find him perfect but not for the reasons he wanted. They found him PERFECT for STABILITY. So he married a ‘super hot babe’ and had kids (which he paid for a nanny to take care of). What does the ‘super hot babe’ do? She cheats on him! “Don’t you love him?” “Yes, yes I very much do,” and she speaks the truth. No, she sleeps around because SHE IS BORED. He dehumanized everything. She doesn’t have to work, doesn’t have to raise the kids, and doesn’t have to do anything. Of course she won’t leave him. And of course she is in ‘love’ with him (or rather his STABILITY). Yet, she is bored and cheats on him. If the guy was a bit more human and less perfect, she might find her husband more interesting than his foolish role of Mr. Perfection.
So when you think, “I have been on this forum for X amount of time! And I am STILL A) Virgin B) Single C) Non-LTR D) Not getting the girl I want. I have A) Read the DJ Bible again and again B) Gotten advice from the posters here C) Read and bought many DJ books.”
Consider: “Are you trying to PERFECT yourself when it comes to women or are you trying to HUMANIZE yourself that you find interacting with women as natural as breathing?”
The difference is all.
Shakespeare Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.
Faultily faultless, icily regular, splendidly null,
Dead perfection, no more.
Hazlitt No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves.
Orwell The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection, that one IS sometimes willing to commit sins for the sake of loyalty, that one does not push asceticism to the point where it makes friendly intercourse impossible, and that one is prepared in the end to be defeated and broken up by life, which is the inevitable price of fastening one’s love upon other human individuals.
I see you now. I know your gaze is fading from the computer screen… Look at me! Pook hits the table. For the love of God, listen! Your life depends on this.
When you see a girl you want to approach, or you are getting cold feet about a date, remember three words:
“Perfect is boring…”
“Perfect is boring…”
Your brain will spin out all these reasons why you are unworthy…
“Cheap and wimpy car.”
“Not as good looking”
“Perfect is boring!” and watch those reasons evaporate. Stand up! Already, the blood is pulsing through your veins. You’ve always wanted to do this but have always been scared of yourself. Let go.
You stand up and go out the door.
You see a beautiful woman but are afraid to approach.
“Perfect is boring…” and you go and talk to her.
But you like to spend your free time on the computer. So what? Talk to her.
You are scared to ask for her number…
“Perfect is boring…”
She gave you the number! Again, you are scared of the date. Too many unknowns! But…
“Perfect is boring…”
Look! She is smiling at you! She wants to kiss you!
But you have never kissed a girl before. Would you mess it up? Would you slobber over her? What of it!
“Perfect is boring…”
She loves it! Now look at what position she is in! You know what to do…
For the love of yourself, for the love of life, you are letting go and are actually becoming human.
Pity those who want the perfect life! Break me, tear me apart, let me be beaten and altered by life, let my life be touched and touch in return for I will be Human, for there is no reason on earth to be scared of yourself.
Perfect is boring… let it be written in the sky, painted on buildings, read with your eyes, transcribed on your soul. All those people who are ALONE are perfect… but those with the girl realize that being perfect is boring!