Listen to this post:
Real men do not analyze the woman. If she is single, and he wants her, he should go after her no matter what sign she displays.
But since we are talking about signs, we are entering the bizarre realm of Womanese!
Bold will be the WHOA-man. Italics will the Womanese Translator. Regular Text will be what Da pooky is saying.
NOTE: For the below to be true, the conversation must be one on one.
Second Note For the below to remain true, the ‘examples’ MUST be initiated by the WHOA-man.
Let us begin:
My boyfriend came and gave me this AWESOME gift. We’re going to New York tomorrow.
It is quite possible that she wants you.
But beware! A girl talking about her boyfriend means, most importantly, that she is taken. However, she may want to be STOLEN.
“Stolen, Pook! What do you mean?”
Gentlemen, it is a fine fact that many woman will not dump one boyfriend until they have a grip on the next. These women would rather be with BOREfriend than to be single. She may very well wish to be stolen.
I love my boyfriend sooo much! Everything in life is so much better with my boyfriend! He makes me feel so warm and fuzzy!
Get away from her; she is vomiting her emotions.
When a woman tells you how she FEELS about the guy, she is either in love or you are low interest or both.
THIS is the crucial difference: when a woman informs you of the actions the boyfriend is taking, she is using social proof (trying to show you that she is in demand). When a woman informs you of her feelings, especially if those feelings are positive of the guy, then there is nothing going on between you.
“Why’s that, Pook?”
This should be written in stone: When she does girl-talk, you become her girly-friend.
Girls do not girl-talk their romantic interests.
You should have seen this guy. He came up to me, took my hand, and said, “You are beautiful! Will you go out with me!?”
She wants you to know several things. 1) She is desired. 2) She is beautiful. She wants you to know these things because she wants you to ask her out.
Well said, Womanese Translator!
I was placing the tapioca pudding back onto the shelf when I felt someone looking at me. I turned and saw this man checking me out! It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! You hear me? It felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Man, it felt good. Oh, you have no idea how good it felt. It felt GOOD. REALLY good. Oh, you don’t know how GOOD!”
Although the above is exaggerated [Understatement of the century- Sosuave.com] the point is that the woman is flopping her emotions out. She is not interested. You are in Friend-Zone.
Hellish friend-zone! But the translator is right. The last example had the focus on the GUY and HIS actions. This example has the focus on the WOMAN and HER FEELINGS. You are being used as an emotional tampon here, beware.
My breasts are too big! It hurts my back. It gives me back problems.
It is quite possible she is thinking of you in a sexual way.
Unless you are a doctor, this is good news. [If you are a doctor, it is more money which is better news- Sosuave.com] Women with large breasts are much more comfortable with discussing them (for the large breasts often become the center of attention with most guys). She is most likely aroused. If not, then with her course of current talk she soon will be.
I’m trying on new underwear and seeing how my butt looks! (she squeals in front of the mirror)
She wants you.
She wants you.
She is mentioning her butt (she wants you to notice it!), and she is mentioning her underwear (she is comfortable talking about it to you).
When a woman likes you, she will try to show off her body (and when a woman does not like you, she will try to hide her body). This example is the woman showing off her body through words.
Are you gay?
Well? ARE YOU?
If you really are fruity, you will be asked this. Other guys should have asked this to you if you really are fruity (and with threats to back it up).
But let us try this again.
Are you gay?
Why won’t you go out with me (or anyone)?
If you happened to be handsome or really cute, girls will try to go out with you. If you say no (haha!), she will think to herself, “All these girls want to go out with him and he won’t go out with any of them. What is wrong with him? IS HE GAY!?”
Girls wondering if you’re gay can be the ultimate compliment. Think. They are already thinking of you in a sexual context. They want you to go out with them. When you don’t, they ask the gay question.
(Remember, guys, when Adonis, the style master, got asked the “Are you gay?” question? Although gay guys can and do dress stylishly, the woman wants to know if you are gay or not BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU.)
Ahh, another Womanese lesson is over with. Join us again next time on the same forum, same host, and same website.
Oh, and excellent job, translator!
Why, thank you Pook.
And remember guys, if you go ‘sign reading’, the best guide is your gut.