Listen to this post:
The reason for my success is habit. A Don Juan is a sum of correct habits.
This pales to other ideas. Some think message boards contain magic which will instantly turn one into a Don Juan. Others think special spirits will jump out of the DJ Bible and blossom you to a Don Juan. But this is poppycock!
“‘Poppycock!?’ Pook says?” Yes, poppycock. Even if you had every mental formula and idea ingrained in your head, you still won’t be successful with women or anything.
Look at you! A plop of flesh sitting in a chair! How do you get from there to with the chicks?
“I will take a deep breath, go out with all confidence, and get the chick!”
This is blitzkrieg. It might work but you’re still a loose cannon. Confidence is comfortableness. Don’t try to force yourself to something that seems entirely alien to you. You’ll never be comfortable with it.
Alter your habits and so you alter your life. Make it a HABIT to talk to girls. Make it a HABIT to be social. Make it a HABIT to look for dates. Make it a HABIT to date! Make it a HABIT to Don Juan!
“But Pook! These will require an initial icebreaker.” Yes. But that should not be where you place the ‘challenge’ at. Focus on being consistent. Sure, you can create a huge mental drama about approaching that hot chick. But you should focus on being consistent in approaching hot chicks in general. This one chick is nothing in your string of routine.
Think of it like that.
Women are not Ice Water
“He who hesitates, masturbates” we hear. Or we might hear, “Imagine yourself old and dreaming of what you could have done. Go out today or die!” Some people even do affirmations to get them to ‘approach’.
But approaching is not a disconnected thing in itself. Talking to women should NOT be like plunging into ice water. You whirl a slogan in your head and you go ‘blitzkrieg’ on her. Rather, women should be seen as WARM water, something you EASE into pleasantly. There’s no need to cannonball into them.
It’s similar to working out. Habit is the key to success in working out, without it nothing else matters. A guy doing THE BEST WORKOUTS in perfect form and intensity only a few times is INFERIOR to the guy who does CRAPPY WORKOUTS and is consistent with them.
You are not the smoothest guy with the ladies. You know what? Neither am I. However, you have an advantage over the smooth guys: you are more consistent. Hey, they might go for a girl only once a month. You, however, will be going for them FAR MORE often. In the end, you will become ‘smooth’ while even the smoothest guy gets rusty.
What are you doing now? Surfing the Internet? Do you do this everyday? Do you enter your little hyper-reality of video games and mental riddles?
How do you break from this cycle? By changing your habits. If you can change your habits, you WILL change your life. Your habits are your prophecy. Endure and keep those habits, and your life will change just as simply as turning a dial to ‘overdrive’. It’s that simple.
So instead of focusing on asking out the chick or talking to the chick, focus on the continuity of it. She will then become just one chick in your routine. You focus on the routine, on the consistency, not on the chick.
Where will you be five years from now?
Hopefully, you will not still be on this site reading posts. Here is a story I enjoy and wish to share with you:
At the age of 22, he worked for his father at a bakery. He was married and had a kid on the way. Because of these rising costs, he asked for a raise. His father didn’t give it to him.
So he walked away from the bakery with only twenty two dollars in his pocket and a wife with a child on the way. He started a sandwich business that became popular as he went around to construction sites. Eventually, he entered the construction company and became one of the largest constructing companies in California. He would eventually buy a football team and watch them win the Superbowl.
Who is this guy? Alex Spanos. How did he get there from here? He says, “Habit.” He detailed what he wanted to do with his life in five years. He slowly worked toward those goals and he met them every time. In fact, he would meet them BEFORE reaching the five year mark.
Compare this with other guys. Many have dreams, few have goals. By putting a TIME LIMIT on what you want to do, you often set yourself to achieve it.
“Then in five years I want all the chicks to be wanting me!” It doesn’t have to be five years. It could be two months. And you can’t place your success on OTHER people. You can say that you want to gain/lose weight, get your life together, get that job you’ve been wanting, become more social, whatever. You CANNOT say, “I’m going to have a girlfriend in X amount of time.” That depends on someone else. Rather, say, “I’m going to get in the ROUTINE of talking to chicks, asking them out, and being more social.” The goal then becomes a prophecy.
Focus on the Habit
Aristotle says, “We are the sum of our habits” and this is true. I’ve talked to A LOT of guys on being successful with women. One thing that separates them from other guys is that they focused on the HABIT, not on the girl or the procedure. They told themselves, “I will ask out 20 girls this week”. In almost every case, they do not get to 20 because they end up getting a girlfriend after the first few. It is THAT simple.
Behind every Don Juan is a series of correct habits (which are detailed throughout this site). Consistency with everything is crucial. For Habit is the child of Mindset, and this is how as you think you shall become.