Let yourself fail!

Webmaster's note: The Book of Pook is a great book and a life changing read for many (including myself) but it is out of date with modern times.

It was written long before hookups, online dating, or even texting were a thing.

I highly recommend checking out The Seduction Bible. It is a modern and up to date resource.

Update: You now get The Complete Pook Collection (PDF Edition) as a part of The Seduction Bible Bundle.

The reason why you are here at this website, improving in ways you never dreamed possible before in your life, was because you failed at achieving what you wanted with women.

Listen to yourself before you came to this website:

“Oh, how I have failed with the ladies! If only I knew what to do! If only I knew the secrets of attraction, love, and women!”

And so here you are gobbling up more information than ever. And this is good.


Do you allow yourself to fail? Or do you go search on posts on EXACTLY how you should act on a date? Do you try to push your comfort zones or do you read the pages of seduction material for the 435473th time?

Failure is a necessary component of growth. Let yourself fail.

Not all the time. You are not the Nice Guy who crashes and burns without a clue (and does it again and again and again). Don Juans are made by failing, not by succeeding.

When you fail, you have information sent back on things that can be worked on. Are you too scrawny? Do you not have fun dates? Is your personality the problem? Do you let yourself have fun? Are you scared of sex? What is it?

A failure can help you more than reading every damn post on this board. Failure will aid you much more than the whole of the DJ Bible.

Going into Don Juan is not a light switch. You do not stuff this information in your head and become a drone of the ideas here. You need to fail. You MUST fail. You will always learn more about failing because it won’t be hypothetical! You won’t be having fantasies of you, being a blazing Don Juan, and going from girl to girl. No, you will be OUT THERE (which is where you learn everything) and you WILL FAIL. This failure points out where you NEED to improve.

“But Pook! If I fail, I will lose the girl!”

For every love that dies, a new one is born. It is a law of Nature!

Keep the focus on YOU. So what if you lose the girl? Another girl will quickly take her place. If you WAIT on the first girl, you will be worse off when you meet that second girl. FAIL NOW.

“But Pook! I remember the pain before. I am learning this information so I will not enter that pain again.”

Let me tell what is MORE PAINFUL. It is getting trapped in a tortuous cycle of devouring more and more information with no action. In this case, the Nice Guy is more admirable than you because at least the Nice Guy allows himself to fail. You never let yourself fail so you will never grow.

“But Pook! Isn’t the point of the information to AVOID failure?”

This is the number one common mistake that makes long time regulars here still stuck in their cycle. They think the information is going to remove failure. That is not the point. Just as in order for your muscles to grow, you must let them fail (and fill in the void with protein, sleep, etc.). So too that in order to GROW (not in your mental self, but in your real self OUT THERE), you must let yourself fail (and if you do fail, fill in the void with the information and feedback here.)

“But Pook! Why should I intend to fail?”

The point is not to INTEND to fail. It is to LET yourself fail. If you fail with a girl, IT IS AN OPPORTUNITY THAT YOU MISSED ABOUT YOURSELF.

Let us repeat it again:

FAILURE IS AN OPPORTUNITY. After all, risk is the key to self-improvement.

The Number 2 common mistake here is people thinking that they ARE NOT ALLOWED to fail because of all this ‘information’ they have soaked up. In other words, that if they failed, they really ‘aren’t don juans.

Let me tell you something: Don Juans are not made on message boards. They are made OUT THERE. Whatever happens to you out there, no matter how bad it is, come back here and we will help you. You are beyond your Nice Guy days.

But flaws can only be removed by confronting them, never by masking them.

“But Pook! I did what you said and… I had great success! I was hoping I would fail so I could improve but dammit, I succeeded beyond my wildest expectations! I was looking forward to failing so I can improve but the hot chick accepted my advances and dates! How could she do that!?…”

Now you see the point of it all. Even though there are TONS of posts that say ‘not to fear rejection’ or ‘that she is missing out on you’, you still are scared of failing. Failure is actually a GOOD thing since it helps you grow. It is good to IMAGINE success, but do not FEAR failure. Embrace it like the gift it is since it allows you to grow. (For if you don’t fail now, you will fail later on. Get it over with.)

It is a win-win situation.


Originally posted by Page
Personally, I consider the situation where you attempt to do something but do not meet your goal as a sort of delayed success. Delayed success is sort of like a stepping stone to the original goal. After you fall short enough times, you will have learned what mistakes to avoid in the future, and sooner or later, you will get it right.

How I came to this site was because I FAILED badly with the woman I wanted. Looking back through my Pook years, I see that the times I failed was when I got my head snapped on straight and truly changed.

Turning a ‘failure’ with a woman to make it a ‘learning experience’, just one bump along the long road of success, sounds good in seminars and all. But you’ve got to risk, you’ve got to roll your dice.

Nice Guys are nice because they don’t want to fail. Why else do Nice Guys listen to womanly advice? Why else do Nice Guys give chocolate, flowers, poetry, etc. to the woman? They certainly don’t do it out of a spirit of love (though many do, these infatuated chumps). Many do it because they think it is ‘the routine’ and they don’t want to fail. They want to ‘play it safe’.

“May I kiss you?” the Nice Guy asks. He doesn’t want to make her ‘uncomfortable’. If this Nice Guy risked failing, he would just kiss her and go for it. He could be slapped OR she could say, “THANK GOD! I THOUGHT HE WAS GAY!” and all is good.

Some here still act like those Nice Guys with the only difference is that they listen to men instead. You’ve GOT to sprinkle risk in your life.

As Anti-Dump said, you DO want to protect your heart. But some are so scared of failing that they literally COCOON their life!

To the loners- You know who you are. You don’t think you are good enough, have the right things, do the right things, etc. to let a woman into your life. But you do! You loners aim at your comfortable world but do so at sacrificing long term happiness. LET A WOMAN INTO YOUR LIFE! You’ll probably enrich her life more then you think, and she will definitely enrich yours!

To the shy guys- You know who you are. You are worried what others might say, what she might think, what everyone might say. But the truth is that you could walk in front of a bus and you’d be forgotten in a day. No one is going to care that you lusted after a chick. Even chicks forget. GO FOR IT! YIELD TO YOUR DESIRE FOR ONCE!

To the addicted-to-sosuave crowd- You know who you are. You read more and more and more and more and more information. Yet, there you sit in front of your computer. The information you see… it is a novelty, something new for you to think about. But once you go out and FAIL with the ladies, all the information literally changes. Rather then being a novelty to think about, like some new philosophy to adopt, it becomes addendums to your battle plan. You exit the world of THEORY and go OUT THERE (since that is where the chicks are. Only feminists reside in the world of THEORY and you don’t want those anyway).

Everyone came to this site with problems. This site corrected many of them. Alas, the site also created a few new problems. One of them is that guys are scared to fail, especially with all this information around. They think that with this information that they won’t fail. It is fun to fail and is the zeal of life. Let yourself fail!

Also, failure is the only way to trigger metamorphosis.

You can keep on trying to do something, and although you may not make it the first few times, you have “failed” only when you hit the dirt and refuse to get back up and try again.

Only by failing can you succeed.

Don Juaning is like a dance. You can learn all the steps. But unless you go out and trip yourself (or step on her, haha) a couple of times, you will never EVER dance.

Some guys are so scared of failing, that they memorize how they should act and so on where as me have one thought going through their head: “WHEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Some men see women and cry, “WHY!?” But I approach women and say, “WHY NOT?”

Webmaster's note: The Book of Pook is a great book and a life changing read for many (including myself) but it is out of date with modern times.

It was written long before hookups, online dating, or even texting were a thing.

I highly recommend checking out The Seduction Bible. It is a modern and up to date resource.

Update: You now get The Complete Pook Collection (PDF Edition) as a part of The Seduction Bible Bundle.