More On “You Must Be Gay!”

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DeepDish said,

Women having gay friends is like whites having black friends, something of which we can use to say we have a balanced set of friends. Also, gays tend to be very intelligent, well-spoken, well dressed, very sensitive and open with their emotions, and pay attention to details (e.g. listen). Giovanni Casanova once made a thread about gay guys having women strip in front of them all the time and even begging for sex. Giovanni was onto something. You don’t have to be gay or have a lisp, but if you seem gay, as in having the listed traits associated with gays, and when confronted with “Are you gay?” give an ambiguous answer (“Well, am I?”), that can open up the world of women to you. Women who ask you “Are you gay?” are attracted to you and wonder why their femininity, which normally makes men cave, isn’t enough for you.

I’m in that ‘world’ that gays get to be in with women. Yes, they have stripped for me and all. I just laugh at them. Stupid girls.

A big problem I have is wherever I go (like a class or work where I am there repeatedly), girls will begin thinking, “Pook is gay.”

Yes, it can mean that you are dressing too nicely (sometimes I have my sexuality shined too far and must lower it. Sometimes I swing back to AFC style just to shake it off).

I like dressing nicely. I feel better and everyone takes me more seriously (and girls stare, mmm hmm). But when the gay thing comes up (and it does almost all the time now), I ask the girls playfully knowing the answer already (the one they won’t admit to my face).

“Why do they keep thinking I’m gay?”

“Well… You do dress nice.”

“What has that got to do with it? People dress nice all the time! Fine. Next time I’ll come in with my worst clothes ever.”

“No, then you’ll be called a ‘homeless gay’.” (and she laughs and rubs Pook).

If girls ask if you are gay, remember the important thing: they are thinking of you in a sexual context. One of girls’ favorite jokes is to tease a guy they like with another guy they like, pointing the two within a gay relationship. They just enjoy thinking about you in a sexual context. It is a victory.

One problem I have now are guys thinking I am gay. Have I crossed the line? Am I now a flaming Pook? No, when I talk to them personally they respond. You will get this from guys in high school who seem obsessed with gayness and so insecure of their own masculinity (since they are still just kids).

It’s something I haven’t seen talked much on this board: ENVY. The guys are envious. They hear the girls chatter, “He must be gay!” and think it seriously (because they want it to be true). They wish they were on these women’s minds. They see how Pook has some special touch with the women, can talk to them with perfect ease, can play with them, etc. One guy’s mouth fell open when a girl and I had a conversation completely in Womanese (I’ve learned to speak it back to them!).

Truly gay guys start off in a denial about themselves and then date a whole bunch of women, sleep with them, to remove doubts about themselves. Alas, they realize they are not satisfied with women and admit they go for men.

Perhaps there is a way to turn the tables on these women. Next time I see a hot woman who is not interested in me, I will declare, “What! She doesn’t want to have sex with me? She must be gay!

And what can they say to that!