Listen to this post:
Originally posted by DeepBlue:
I’ve noticed that the concept of kino is almost as widely misunderstood as neghits,
So many newbies rush out there with ‘neghits’ as wild knights to destroy the hot chicks’ castle-like egos. Likewise, so many newbies get creepy with the kino. You’re right, it IS misunderstood. These are subtle tools, not sledgehammers.
With anything, keep your attitude light and fun. If heaviness weighs down your spirit, don’t go experimenting.
so I wrote this to provide some added insight into what is REALLY going on with kino. Hopefully it will be of help to those who are interested.
I am interested! Speak on, Mr. DeepBlue!
The common view of kino is that you’re giving the woman pleasure and that this arouses her and makes her attached to you.
If this is the common view of kino, then there is a problem.
That is certainly true,
NO! Saying that Kino is to give the WOMAN pleasure? Why is the focus on the woman? No, the focus MUST be on YOURSELF. Yes, she should find pleasure in the kino. But YOU should find pleasure in the kino too.
You touch her because YOU want to, not because SHE wants it. Why? Because she wants to be TOUCHED and FLIRTED with by EVERY DECENT-CUTE GUY. We are not play-toys for their endless appetite of sexuality.
and we’re lucky we live in a time when doing kino with a woman is considered acceptable as soon as you start getting to know her. In older times, guys like Casanova had to be extraordinarily seductive with their *words* just so they could get to the point where they could begin to use kino.
Nah, the seduction of women hasn’t really changed. The same rules apply. The only real difference in this age is that ugly chicks don’t have dowries (how else can you get a man to marry them?) and most women are financially independent.
Also, males are afraid of being men and scared of their own sexuality (the AFC).
Did you know that HALF of all the marriages in the British Colonies of North America, right around the War of Independence, was when the woman was already pregnant? These were the Puritans as well!
Our ancestors were Don Juans. Why not we?
But the key thing to understand about kino is that when you initiate it with a chick whom you’re just getting to know, is that it isn’t merely an arousing stimulus, it also challenges the barriers between you.
If I ever read another post that says, “She did X and Y, then Z!!! Oh, and look at how she did M and then went and N! DOES SHE LIKE ME OR IS SHE BEING NICE?” the answer is, “DID YOU TOUCH HER?” Kino ALWAYS has a SURE answer (as well as asking her out. But she can date you to be polite, she cannot fake her reaction to kino).
Kino is a GREAT way to test their interest. Girls that don’t like you, or find you neutral, will not like you touching them.
Usually when I kino a girl, it is very subtle. Everyone else in the universe thinks it is innocent. However, if a girl believes that you are being friendly versus liking her, she will choose to think that you like her. Thus, any kino is interpreted as LIKING HER.
She usually then RAINS kino back on poor Pook. She’ll rub your arm. Rub her body against you. Anything.
Whatever you do, DO NOT KINO girls that you are not interested in. I have done this and these girls obsessed about me to the end. One planned out our marriage and all. Kino is THAT powerful.
In fact… oh, DeepBlue wishes to speak.
The presence of those invisible barriers which you both maintain in your minds is really the key difference between being lovers and strangers.
IN YOUR MIND. Yes!
NOT in her mind. Women fall in love with their bodies; men fall in love with their mind. It is from men that the idealized love springs from poetry to sculpture to paintings, etc. Yet, if women are caressed the right way, touched in the proper manner, at the right speed, etc. then they are yours.
(This is why women want men that are ‘experienced’ because they want to FEEL that way. Women have no concept of idealization from the virtue of virginity or maidenhood, etc. except in relation to society.)
Men’s sexuality is focused and concentrated within his body. With a woman, her sexuality is diffused throughout her entire body. All touch to her is sexual since she is entirely sexual.
Typical AFC behavior is to respect those barriers too much and to never challenge them. That by definition maintains the barriers, leaving them in place. Doesn’t matter how well he gets to know the chick, if he leaves those barriers in place he will never be her lover–THAT is why he ends up in the friend category.
AFC is scared of HIS sexuality. He is scared of carnal embrace.
Because he actually reinforced the barriers instead of destroying them.
No, because he acted like penis-less ape who has money, can speak, but is some bizarre andrygnous.
It is men that create the barriers. If men would embrace their own sexuality (dress better, be athletic, act like a man, exercise the muscles, etc.), then women WILL jump you.
This is what the PUAs must realize. It is not that they are pressing the woman’s buttons. They are merely disarming the barriers, letting REAL women, not domesticated women, out of their society-reflective cages (“If I do this I will be seen as a slut” etc. THAT is put to sleep.)
Women WANT union ALL THE TIME. Even if they are married, pregnant, engaged, or have a BF, they want YOU to be sexual towards them. (but this doesn’t mean you should)
Alas, I am moving away from the kino topic.
Go on, DeepBlue! Go on!
Anyway, the next level up from AFC is to realize that you have to crumble those barriers, so you work on them, but you’re still leery about causing any anxiety, and still a bit nervous about challenging the barriers.
Nervous about the barriers? It is nervous about realizing your own sexuality.
So you look for excuses to touch,
Hehe, it will still be interpreted in the woman’s mind as, “He wants to have sex with me.” She will see through the excuses, right ladies?
or you reach out and caress her but it has a slightly rushed quality because you’re trying to mask some underlying nervousness.
But ultimately where you want to get to is the point where you recognize that for a woman, the experience of having you challenging the barriers is not ONLY a source of anxiety for her, but is also a source of EXCITEMENT. And the idea is to shift the balance so that she experiences more excitement than anxiety.
The excitement comes FROM YOU. If she is experiencing anxiety, IT IS YOUR FAULT. Women are reflective in nature.
If I take a Nice Guy with me to the Women-Fest, this is what happens:
“How are you ladies! I am the Pook!”
She shivers with excitement. “OH! It is a POOK!”
She and I are having a fabulous time. She is happy and smiling. My Nice Guy dork friend just looks sad, confused, bothered, angry, sad, depressed, sad, confused, and so on.
She looks over at the Nice Guy and her face FALLS. Her mood instantly evaporates.
GO IN HAPPY and she will be happy. GO IN NERVOUS and she will be nervous and unhappy.
Ever see a baby fall down? Notice how they don’t know whether to laugh it off or cry so they look to their parents to see the parents face? If the parent frowns with concern then the baby starts crying. If the parent smiles the baby starts laughing.
Same with women. When you are entering new territory with a woman by challenging the “touch barriers” between you and her then you have to do it calmly and confidently and that CAUSES her to experience it as exciting. If you do it nervously she’ll experience it as something that isn’t right and that makes her uncomfortable.
One of the best ways to show confidence is to do it slowly, instead of rushing it. Nervous people rush things to mask their nervousness.
THINK the outcome is already won. THINK that she is going to do all the ungodly things you want her to, it is just a matter of WHEN. In the meantime, you have fun because YOU KNOW THE OUTCOME.
Women interpret this as confidence and persistence, two traits THAT TURN THEM ON (self-fulfilling prophecy, for as you think, THEY shall become)
Nervous people also look away, so you calmly make eye contact, and nervous people look serious so be sure to smile a lot.
Nervous people also make their voice tense, so you make yours relaxed, and make your posture very open and relaxed rather than being closed and tense.
If you are nervous then you have not been around women very much.
All these things will convey confidence causing her to mind to interpret your touch as a source of excitement, rather than a source of anxiety.
Not only that, but she will START TOUCHING YOU like crazy! Good heavens, I have had to literally tell them to stop. Once you show it is ok to be touchy feely, by the heavens, they will unleash touchiness.
The more you understand (and vicariously feel) the way your touch EXCITES her, the more you will naturally become confident about doing it.
In other words, SHE LIKES IT. YOU LIKE IT. So DO IT.
Besides convey confidence, the other thing you need to do with kino is to strike a balance so it isn’t either too challenging, nor too tame.
As you start slowly caressing her–her hand or her arm or her waist or back, or maybe feeling her cheek or her hair with your hand–the ideal to strive for is that you want to keep her gently balanced on the very edge of being too excited, so it is never too much for her to handle, nor so mild that it becomes tame.
Hmm, I don’t caress them unless I am going out with them or such. I usually touch them a little and it is like the floodgates are open on touching the Pook.
Kino is to make sure you are not a Sexual Mannequin because Sexual Mannequins do not initiate kino! They just stand there and smile. But after the touch, she thinks of you in flesh-and-blood terms then in the abstract image way. In other words, in a PHYSICAL way. In Womaniverse, you cannot seperate the physical from the sexual. Anything physical you do with her she interprets as sexual (probably why girls fall in love with you during ACTION dates since they are using their bodies from dancing to skating and so on).