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Someone emailed this to me:
I adore Christianity; it is a core part of who and what I am. I don’t go to church anymore. The reason? I do not feel welcome or wanted and that is completely because I am male.
Yes, yes, I know … most of the leaders are men. So what? The dominant “alpha” man who leads hates lesser men as much, if not more, than the feminists. I get more than enough hate just living my day to day life: I do not want to go to church to get more.
I have no problem with any person wearing what they want to church: Show up in a bikini for all I care. I have no problem with everyone running around “helping” at the service: It makes for a good leg stretch. I have no problem with female pastors: One of the best ministers I have ever known happened to be a woman and a physician. I could go on and on and on and on a…
Mother’s day … flowers for the women and a sermon on the greatness of the mother
Father’s day … a long lecture on the failings of all men
THAT, that is a part of what upsets me. It is only a part.
The church as it now is upsets me. I do not feel welcome, wanted or cared for.
I’ve tried to explain this to my wife, mother, and mother-in-law. They cannot understand it, or refuse to understand … I’m not sure which.
There’s a church in our area which is violently anti-female. Woman must walk behind her husband, not speak in church, wear VERY conservative dress, and wear a hat in church yada yada yada. I tried to get my wife to think how SHE would feel going there. She just said anyone trying to make me go there would find a shotgun up their nose. She couldn’t get as far as the feeling. I doubt I’ll ever get them to see the point …
I think this emailer is asking more as to why his wife and mother-in-law don’t SEE what is going on.
Consider financial independence. Most people think working for someone else and having your business defined by someone else is the way how life is. Most people never question it. If you were making a great income, why should you wonder about financial independence? But if you get fired, get heavily leveraged, then of course you begin to reconsider.
Consider Nice Guys. Most of us would have remained Nice Guys if it worked. When you kept slamming into the wall for being a Nice Guy, a light bulb eventually went off, “Hey, I need to do something different.”
That is the only way how I can guess why your wife and mother-in-law don’t see it. To them, it is all The Way. They haven’t been stung so why care? Most people’s historical perspective begins the day they were born. If they haven’t seen anything different in the past, then they don’t reconsider what is going on today.
As the husband, they also might not take what you say seriously. I’ve noticed most women don’t believe men have anything worthwhile to say or think. This is why they paint us a bunch of ‘horn dogs’ or ‘sloths’ because they can’t perceive anything differently. You could be in a room thinking the secret of the universe, but the woman will only think that the room needs to be cleaned and that YOU are wasting time.
Women also perceive God differently than men. To men, God is the pinnacle. God is the ultimate. God, to men, is the source of all wisdom, love, and everything else. But to women, God is just another man who’ll work for them.